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Friday, July 10, 2009

Real Age

I saw a link for the Real Age test, so I decided to take it. I'm 29.7 by calendar and 27.9 by Real Age's test. To lower my real age even more, it suggested that I stop worrying and get more support from friends and relatives.
If you know me at all, you know that worrying is an unconscious and innate hobby of mine. I think most parents, especially those of children with special needs, are probably worriers (so close to "warrior", yet so completely different!).
This made me think about new things that I've been worrying about lately:
  • Puberty- I found some armpit hairs on Lotus. Aaaahhh! Every new sign freaks me out because I am waiting for The Big One...
  • Money- Because I never seem to have enough of it to cover bills and groceries. It's generally spent before I get it.
  • Long-term plans- I think I've been practicing for my mid-life crisis since I was around 21 (when the girls were showing signs of autism and then finally diagnosed). I am getting old enough that I can have the real one pretty soon. Life expectancy for white women in the U.S. is 80.5 years. (By the way, evidently life is both racist and sexist: black women are averaging 76.1, but they still beat white men, who come in at 75.4. Black men get the short stick on this one, averaging only 69.2...)
  • Sense of failure- I just feel like I never do good enough, try hard enough, or just, well enough. Maybe that's tied into working up to the penultimate mid-life crisis. Look out for a tattoo of Hello Kitty wearing a puzzle-piece themed kimono right above my booty. That'll be the move that makes it official. Maybe I'll get all wild and get my ears pierced (a joke- I got my first piercing this year: my belly button. It'll round out my stripper look with that above the butt tatto0! Then I'll just throw on my 7" clear lucite heels with the embroidered cherries on them and I'll be ready to go. Now if I only knew how to dance...)
  • Worrying about worrying too much- Not a joke...


*mary* said...

Whoa your heels have cherries embroidered on them? I thought I was the only one who shopped at The Hooker Experience! Lol, kidding.

I know what you mean. I have been so freaking stressed out lately. Bah, I say!

Love you!

Autism Mom said...

Oh yeah, embroidered cherries. Don't know where I ever thought I'd where them to. I have the toned done version I bought for my competition without cherries and only the 5" heels. :)