I've been having trouble finding motivation to work on things, so I haven't written on this blog in a while. The girls have done plenty of interesting, silly, frustrating, and exhausting things though.
I feel like this year has just been exhausting for me, both mentally and physically. The girls are going through puberty and don't really understand what is going on in their bodies. They are looking more like teenagers now, but they still have the cognitive abilities of younger children. It's a difficult situation for me to handle. Even though I've known this is the case for quite some time, it is still hard for me to accept.
The girls are happy much of the time, but they miss out on lots of little and big things because of their autism. I can't take them out to do fun things unless I have someone to help me, which is really frustrating. When I do take them to do things I get exhausted and stressed out. I enjoy seeing them have fun and do new things though.
This past Saturday we went to a farm. The girls got to ride a horse, collect chicken eggs, and pet and feed different animals. The farm owners had sliced apples and sweet potatoes to feed the animals. When they gave Celest an apple slice to feed the baby deer she ate it herself. She proceeded to "help" the animals eat the apples. She'd give a slice to an animal then have one for herself. Or she'd take a bite then feed it to the animal.
There was a funny turkey that would gobble if you said "gobble, gobble, gobble" to it. Celest had lots of fun with him.
By the time we were getting ready to leave Celest was getting upset and talking about emergencies. She kept saying, "Emergency please! Emergency!" She comes up with some strange requests. : )
Lotus got upset too, but I'm not sure why. She was hitting her head and crying, but by the time we walked to the car she was fine.
We went bowling the Sunday before that weekend, and the girls both had lots of fun. I am happy that I can take them out for things now, but I get depressed when I think about how difficult it is and wonder if I won't be able to do these things in the future.
I am trying to focus on what we can do now and enjoy all the little moments. Unfortunately I tend to be pessimistic and depressive, so I continuously have to redirect my thoughts.